I had known for a while that the time would come. It always does. There is no avoiding it. But I didn’t think that it could ever be that bad. But oh, was I wrong.
Nadine had been with Jocelyn in her bedroom for three hours before leaving to go to the bathroom. Her father had watched as her normal smile faded when reading something on her cell phone.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Um, nothing. Just spam,” Nadine tried to hide it, but failed. Jocelyn was in the kitchen with her, and they were working on homework because Nadine’s bedroom was a complete mess.
“Nadine Hart. What is it?” repeated her father.
Nadine knew she would have to tell. She kept secrets well, but she had never been a very good liar. Especially to her parents. She had lied to them in the past, and they had always found out in the end, so she now told them the truth when they asked for it.
Jocelyn worriedly looked from Nadine’s father to Nadine, “Nad, maybe you should just...” she couldn’t think of another way to put it, “tell him”
Her father nodded.
“Well, uh, dad. I kinda had a, um, a boyfriend.”
Her father raised his eyebrows, “You had a boyfriend?”
“Yeah, about that, they kind of don’t, well...” Jocelyn stopped and couldn’t bring herself to say it. She excused herself to get something from her backpack in Nadine’s room.
Nadine watched her leave.
“So, what happened?” asked her father. He was a nice man, and was not angry, but just purely interested in her life. Too bad Nadine didn’t know this.
Nadine replied, “Well, um. He just...” but she couldn’t finish because her father had already come to her rescue, and finished the sentence for her.
“He broke up with you,” her father said.
“And are you okay?”
Nadine got up from the kitchen table, and walked to her bedroom to meet Jocelyn.
She felt violated. Sure - without hesitation, she knew that she had to answer her parents when they asked her questions like that. There was no way to avoid it. But she just hated the answering part. And even more, the short period of time right afterwards where her parents felt as if they knew everything about her when they clearly didn’t.
“Joss. You know what to do,” she said through the tears.
“Nad, aw Nad,” Jocelyn comforted her and combed her hair to make it even more tidy and stick straight than it already was. Nadine liked that. She always had.
Jocelyn smiled. She still couldn’t get her mind off of Lily Korp.
She had been on her Facebook page that morning, and had realized what was happening. Her parents hadn’t known what her password was, and so the page was never taken down.
Later that night after she had left Nadine’s house, she looked at her Facebook page again. Jocelyn found herself looking for more pictures of her. She didn’t find any. Her page only featured three pictures.
One. Her profile picture. It was her school picture, and she had blurred it in some picture editing program, so that the only clear part were her eyes. Jocelyn stared into them.
She then realized that she had been staring at the picture for a matter of minutes.
Two. A picture of her hand wearing a ring on her middle finger with two letters. “F-U”.
Three. Jocelyn honestly wasn’t sure what the picture was. It just looked like dirt. And it probably was dirt for all she cared.
She scrolled down to see her email. firstname.lastname@example.org.
Jocelyn found herself logging out of her profile. She typed Lily’s email in, and jokingly tried a few passwords.
I Hate Life
None of them worked.
And just as in all of the fairytales, on the third try, she got it.
When Jocelyn clicked enter, and found herself gaining access of the profile, she gasped. What now? Jocelyn convinced herself to log out. She had always had an eye for trouble, and couldn’t bring herself to do anything more.
She went to the bathroom, to splash water over her face, and walked back into her bedroom... sat in her chair. And logged back in.
She had the page open again. But this time she didn’t log out. Jocelyn read through messages and looked at posts on Lily’s wall.
She had forgotten to turn off her chat.
She got a message, “Who is this?”
It was from Mark Wilb.
She started to type “Jocelyn”, but then remembered that it wasn’t her account. But it was too late. He had already seen that she was typing.
Jocelyn typed back: No one.
Mark started typing, and then stopped. Jocelyn thought that he had given up, but he hadn’t.
Mark: Who IS this?!
Jocelyn: No one!!!
A smart thought came to Jocelyn’s mind. The only thing that scared boys more than menstruation was mothers.
Jocelyn: This is Lily’s mother. And don’t you use language like that.
Mark: Oh, I am so sorry Mrs. Korp.
He sent the message and then started typing again. But instead of sending the message, he went offline.
Jocelyn closed the window, and then realized that throughout the entire conversation, she had been holding her breath. She caught her breath, and knew that she had to do something.
She deleted her history, and went into the living room to watch some TV and take her mind off of the entire mishap. She couldn’t pay attention. She just couldn’t.
It was her favorite show. Jocelyn had always liked to watch reruns of “Friends”, because they played a new one every single day. Nothing made her laugh, and nothing had even the smallest glimpse of her interest. Her mind was on the account. Impersonation was quickly becoming an addiction.
“You have to deactivate it. Seriously,” Nadine said three hours later after hearing about the incident.
“I can’t. I already told you - then they will definitely know that someone did this, and that it wasn’t her mom”, Jocelyn proclaimed in worry.
Nadine looked at the floor. Jocelyn had done something like this before. I mean, it wasn’t the exact same thing. Jocelyn didn’t just hack dead girls’ accounts everyday, but there was the time when Jocelyn had hacked into her own mother’s account.
“Joss, maybe you should just do what you did last time,” Nadine said while hoping that Jocelyn would understand what she meant.
Jocelyn knew exactly what Nadine had meant, “No - Nad - that was different”
“Well, that time it was with my mom. And she was upset, but I knew that she would forgive me. Plus - that time I lied to her about what really happened,” Jocelyn hadn’t shared the fact that she had lied to her mother to Nadine before.
There was a pause on the other line, and then a two words, “Write it,” Nadine hung up the phone, and went on with her night. Or at least that’s what Jocelyn thought.
Nadine held in her tears as she finished her geometry homework. Jocelyn hardly ever kept secrets from her, and this one was a big deal. But she couldn’t let her know that she was upset, because if she did, she would never know the truth.
Just a girl...